- Pelvic girdle pain (PGP) affects around 1 in 5 pregnant women significantly, with up to half experiencing some degree of pelvic pain during pregnancy — pregnancy hormones soften the pelvic ligaments and changes in load and movement can cause pain.
- The most helpful thing you can do tonight: pillow between her knees, and help her roll as a unit when she turns over.
- Don't let her stand on one leg, take asymmetric steps, or do anything that requires the pelvis to bear uneven weight.
- Physiotherapy is the first-line treatment — and the sooner the referral happens, the better the outcome.
- PGP doesn't usually affect how the birth goes, and usually resolves after delivery. But it can take time, and postnatal physio helps.
It's 3am. Your partner just woke you up — not with a shout, but with that sound. The sharp intake of breath, the held pause, the slow exhale. She's trying to turn over in bed and she can't. She's been lying on the same side for two hours and her hip is screaming, but moving means pain at the front of her pelvis, and the back, and sometimes the thighs. And you're sitting up in the dark trying to work out what you're supposed to do.
If this is where you are, you're in the right place. What your partner is experiencing is almost certainly pelvic girdle pain — PGP — and it is real, it is genuinely painful, and it is one of the most under-talked-about pregnancy experiences that affects dads too, because you're the one next to her at 3am trying to help.
This article covers what PGP actually is, what you can do right now to make her more comfortable, what not to do, and what the longer road looks like.
What pelvic girdle pain actually is
The pelvis is a ring of bones connected by three joints. Pregnancy hormones soften the pelvic ligaments, and changes in load, posture, and how the pelvis transfers weight can cause pain in one or more of its joints. The exact mechanism varies — and modern guidance emphasizes load management and movement patterns rather than "instability" alone. Pain can show up at the front (the symphysis pubis, the joint you can feel at the base of your abdomen), at the back (the sacroiliac joints), or both.
The pain is not just "pregnancy discomfort." Women with PGP describe it as sharp, stabbing, or burning. It can radiate into the hips, buttocks, and inner thighs. It is made worse by anything that puts uneven or excessive load on the pelvic joints — walking, climbing stairs, getting dressed, rolling over in bed, standing on one leg, or pushing a trolley in the supermarket.
It is not dangerous. The baby is not in danger. But it is genuinely, significantly painful, and it can deteriorate quickly if it's not managed. Your partner is not being dramatic.
SPD and PGP — the terminology
You may hear the term SPD — Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. This refers specifically to pain and instability at the front joint of the pelvis, the symphysis pubis. PGP is the broader term that covers all three pelvic joints — front and back. In practice, the two terms are used interchangeably by many midwives and GPs, and the management is similar. If someone says "she has SPD," that's PGP. If they say PGP, that may include the front joint too.
The distinction matters a little for physio treatment — a good women's health physiotherapist will assess which joints are affected and tailor the exercises accordingly. But from a "what can I do to help her tonight" perspective, the approach is the same regardless of the label.
PGP is not something she should walk through. It's not a test of toughness. It's a joint problem with a management plan — and the sooner that plan starts, the better.
The 3am emergency response — what you can do right now
If your partner is in pain and you need practical steps immediately, here they are:
Pillow between the knees. If she's lying on her side, a pillow between the knees keeps the hips and pelvis aligned and takes significant strain off the pelvic joints. A pregnancy pillow — the long U-shaped or C-shaped kind — does this job well and also supports the bump. If you don't have one, a regular pillow works. This is the single most immediately effective thing. If her pelvis is killing her right now, try this first.
Roll as a unit. When she needs to turn over, help her do it as one movement — knees together, hips and shoulders moving simultaneously, rolling like a log. The thing that hurts most is the twisting motion where the hips go one way and the shoulders go another. Eliminate the twist. Get behind her, put your hands on her hip and shoulder, and move together. She tells you when, you move with her.
Getting out of bed. Help her swing both legs off the side of the bed together — not one leg first. One leg first creates exactly the kind of asymmetric load on the pelvis that makes PGP worse. Both legs together, swing to the side, push up to sitting.
No standing on one leg. Getting dressed is one of the worst moments for PGP — pulling on pants or socks while standing on one foot puts maximum uneven load on the pelvis. Have her sit on the bed or a chair to get dressed. Every time. Even if it feels like a faff. It makes a real difference.
- Pillow between the knees — every time she lies on her side
- Roll as a unit — help her turn over without twisting
- Both legs off the bed together — not one at a time
- Sit to get dressed — no standing on one leg
The daily stuff — what to change at home
Beyond the nights, PGP management is about reducing asymmetric load on the pelvis throughout the day. There are things you can take over or change that make a real difference:
No straddle positions. Anything that requires the legs to go wide — getting into a car, stepping over something, sitting cross-legged — is painful and makes things worse. For getting into the car: back up to the seat, sit down, then swing both legs in together. Same process as the bed. Take over carrying anything heavy, especially anything she'd be carrying on one side.
Stairs. Steps and stairs are painful. She may manage better going sideways, or leading with the less painful leg. If there's a handrail, use it. Don't let her rush — the instinct to power through quickly actually increases the load on each step.
The walking speed thing. You probably walk faster than she does right now. Slow down. Walk at her pace. Offer your arm, not as a romantic gesture but as an actual stabilization tool. Uneven surfaces, car parks, and cobbles are particularly bad.
Household tasks. Loading the dishwasher, making beds, loading the washing machine, vacuuming — all of these involve the kind of bending and twisting that puts load on the pelvic joints. If she's doing them alone, she's making herself worse. This is a concrete thing you can take off her plate.
What not to do — and not to say
A few things that make PGP worse — practically and emotionally:
Don't tell her to walk through it. Rest sounds counterintuitive — she's not injured, she's pregnant — but pushing through PGP pain doesn't build tolerance. It increases joint instability. Targeted physiotherapy exercise is different from walking it off. They are not the same thing.
Don't dismiss it as normal pregnancy aches. Yes, pregnancy involves discomfort. PGP is categorically different from the general aches of a growing bump. If she's wincing turning over in bed, struggling to walk to the bathroom, or crying getting dressed — that is not normal. That is PGP, and it needs management.
Don't underestimate the emotional side. PGP is one of the most isolating pregnancy experiences because it's invisible. From the outside she looks fine. Internally she's managing significant pain with every movement. The gap between what she looks like and what she's feeling can make her feel like she's not being believed. Believe her.
The most useful thing you can do isn't the pillow or the rolling — it's believing her when she tells you how much it hurts. That costs nothing and matters more than you know.
Getting proper help — the physio conversation
The first-line treatment for PGP is physiotherapy with a women's health specialist. This isn't optional or "a nice thing to try" — physiotherapy with a women's health specialist is the recommended first-line approach. A physio will assess which joints are affected, give her exercises to strengthen the muscles supporting the pelvis (the exercises are specific — general pregnancy yoga is not the same thing), and may fit a pelvic support belt to wear during the day.
The referral comes via the midwife or your doctor. If her midwife hasn't mentioned it, ask directly: "My partner has significant pelvic girdle pain — can we get a referral to a women's health physiotherapist?" In most healthcare systems this is available; wait times vary. Some couples go private if the wait is long, particularly in the third trimester when time matters.
The earlier the referral, the better the outcome. PGP that starts at week 20 and gets physio input at week 22 is significantly more manageable than PGP that's been untreated until week 34.
Does PGP affect the birth?
This is usually one of the first questions, and the answer is reassuring: PGP doesn't typically require a C-section, and most women with PGP give birth vaginally without significant complication from the PGP itself.
The main consideration is positioning. Anything that requires wide leg separation — lithotomy position (legs in stirrups), deep squats, or positions that put the legs at different heights — should be avoided or minimized. Tell the midwifery team early, ideally at the birth plan conversation. They can plan positions that work around the PGP: side-lying, on all fours, upright with supported legs.
Water birth is often mentioned as helpful — the buoyancy takes weight off the joints and gives more freedom to move into comfortable positions. Worth discussing if it's available and there are no other contraindications.
"My partner has pelvic girdle pain — we want to plan positions that avoid wide leg separation and asymmetric loading. Can we discuss what that looks like in terms of active labor positions and any monitoring positions?" That's the conversation to have. Most midwives are completely familiar with PGP and will have done this many times.
Will it go away after the birth?
Usually yes, and often surprisingly quickly. For many women the acute PGP pain improves significantly within days to a couple of weeks as the pelvis stabilizes after birth. For others — particularly those with more severe PGP — it can take several months, and postnatal physiotherapy is important to speed that recovery.
The one thing to avoid is assuming it'll just fix itself and doing nothing. If she still has significant pelvic pain at the 6-week postnatal check, make sure it's raised explicitly. It sometimes gets missed at that appointment because the focus is elsewhere. Ask directly: "She still has pelvic pain — can we get a postnatal physio referral?"
For more on navigating pregnancy information as a dad — especially when symptoms are causing anxiety for both of you — read about why dads worry during pregnancy and what to do about it. If you're trying to understand other things happening in the pregnancy right now, how I used AI through nine months of pregnancy covers the experience of being the research partner. And when you're thinking about the birth itself, what to expect in the delivery room as a first-time dad is worth reading now, not the week before.
If it's late and you're trying to understand what's happening — whether it's PGP, a scan result, a symptom that appeared today — Dadly's AI companion gives you calm, clear answers from a dad's perspective. No judgment. No spiral. Just useful. Join the waitlist at dadly.app/waitlist and get early access.